As a parent, you are the expert on your child. You know his or her

likes and dislikes, strengths and needs, struggles and successes.

You have learned — through experience, trial and error, and

instinct — what helps your child feel calm, happy, and secure.

You are also your child’s strongest advocate in the goal of developing the

skills he or she needs to live an enjoyable, successful life. As you learned in

Chapter 3, you should feel comfortable having a strong voice in decisions

concerning your child’s treatment. And the values your family holds can and

should influence this process.

The term “family values” takes on a specific meaning in the context of

raising a child with ASD. Think of a family’s values as the unique preferences

or concerns that individuals with ASD — and/or their family members — bring

to the discussion about treatment. Family values should have direct bearing

as you select skills and behaviors to target, and as you identify appropriate

treatments to help your child reach his or her potential and/or enhance the

family experience.

For example, your family may value attending worship services together.

If so, your goals for your child’s treatment could include learning to sit or

kneel quietly in a church, temple, mosque, or other worship setting for

a specified period of time, understanding and following the content of a

religious service, or participating in various aspects of the service. Other

families may value spending time outdoors together. For them, working on

leisure activities such as hiking or playing kickball may become a focus of

treatment.

There are many factors that can influence family values, including:

Cultural Variables

Family values and preferences are strongly influenced by cultural variables (Connors

& Donnellan, 1998). Therefore, treatment goals and strategies for your child should

be congruent with your family’s cultural values. It’s important that your voice is heard

when decisions are being made, and that members of your child’s treatment team

understand your family’s cultural preferences.

Consider the following examples:

do or, when they do, that eye contact is fleeting. Eye contact is often a treatment

target because it is a socially important skill for most individuals in the larger culture

of the United States. It is often one of the first skills taught in many researchsupported

treatment programs that focus on improving attending and responding to

adult treatment providers. Yet, in some Native American and Asian American cultures,

eye contact with adults is considered a sign of disrespect (Lian, 1996; Wilder,

Dyches, Obiakor, & Algozzine, 2004).

However, these behaviors are largely ignored by Navajo parents of children with disabilities.

Navajo parents tend to focus more on the strengths of their children rather

than behavioral excesses or deficits.

In each of these cases, the values of the family may play a very important role in the

decision to target these behaviors for change. If the child can make progress without

targeting eye contact or self-stimulatory behaviors, there is no reason for these behaviors

to be altered, especially given the cultural values and preferences of the family.

Family Structure

The composition of your family may also influence your values and preferences about

treatment for your child. For example, your child’s grandparents may take an active role

in his or her care and well-being. It is not uncommon for parents to feel pressured by

relatives to modify the intervention strategies used to help the child with ASD. Some

extended family members may deny the fact that the child is on the autism spectrum,

whereas others impose their views about child-rearing when the family is already experiencing

distress. Regardless of the support or challenges offered by extended families,

it may be helpful for you to seek out resources that support grandparent involvement.

Families raising a child with ASD along with typically developing siblings face a

unique set of challenges. Some siblings do not understand why their brother or sister

doesn’t play with them. Other siblings need to learn strategies for managing the stress

when classmates make fun of the child with ASD. Older siblings may need help and

guidance as they grapple with the possibility of having to be a lifelong protector for

their sibling on the spectrum. As a result, you might seek out resources that provide

sibling support. The structure of your family may influence your selection of specific

treatment goals for your child on the spectrum or therapy for other family members.